a prayer

simple and sweet corey quick give me a B

tee hee

By midnight sugar

What does not kill ya will make ya stronger....right

R i G HTTTTT! People say that it builds character and it is easier to handle the next lemon life gives you, but there is a middle ground those damn "people" for got to tell you....if you handle the lemons and move on great you are stronger in heart and character but if you don't deal with those bloody lemons and understand them and learn from them you will not get stronger but set yourself up for the same damn lemon and this time it will be thrown at you from the back and knock you smack in the head!

there is always a grey area to everything, even love, friendship, school, work, and your own thoughts

watch out chicken butts

two years

due to the lovely state of minnesota justice system i must remain sober for the next two years! I ask prayers that i may abstain from alcohol for the next two years starting in a couple days. I am not happy, shaky and i suppose i must make the best out of it...per se not blow any one's car!

many thanks to actually many teachers at century for advice and support, no sugar coating either, thanks boys

to danny boy, i think he save my ass hard core this past saturday..he knows i can't remember

i love my parentals: i gave them a lot of grey hairs.

sorry to aimee a sweetheart

to bek a cowgirl

donde es la verdad

that long blog entry

Honestly i came home after a "long" night and wrote that, i am going to leave the misspelled words and repeated words in there. I do apologize though!

School is drawing near, two down three to go, but within those three a crap load of work to be done by thursday, and hot diggity dog to celebrate a nice italian dinner and sledding wildly on the back of my buddies snow mobile

back in time

yes to those that know me and to those that do not read my blog, which is no one, but to my self, i am one truly lost in my own mind, lost in this society that i hate yes i sincerely mean hate, but am no i do not mean chicken butt, i have learned and experiencec a lot and honey i mean a lot and i hate to write it but i am immature, innocent, naive, ignorant, lazy, mean, honest, a lier, strong willed, silly, not prudent, lazy, one eyed, AND SO ON, BUT i am human, have a hear and soul and want to live to my fullest, dream love, lost and believe and blah blah blah blah yet i am one soul and want happiness and as a women yet young want to be held, loved, trused, and damit, held again and for one, for one, and again for one to say, believe, and breathe that i am worth something and to quote the fifth of aristotle of substance (weird but something) i am some one with a soul and want more in life than ignorant people, false hopes, lies, fights, running away from the truth, and running away from the people that truly care.... hmmm for those that know that means... QED... I want God to live in My heart, fill me with love and compassion, honesty, prudence, fortitude, love and prudence....what can assist me in this but prayer a good life and good people..........whoo is me....i do not suround myself with prayer, good people, love honest and true love, and people that care for me. to me i say and ponder besides dumb ass, idiot, but what the hell am i thinking....alcohol, no pain, no love, yes yet no that is all i know, and do not want to feel QED i drink if not one, a few and more. i do not trust or believe in me or the man upstairs, yet i do and i confuse myself, but my blog title, lost in my own mind......i love him and cry for him and pity all man knind but knowing this and more why do not want to feel anything and live my life well and do what i am capable of, which is not humble to say but a lot hell yes a lot. no se! no es bueno! mi cabenza es stupida y sono (this word is italian) es nada en mi corozon, por que.....por que pero... sono is and i do not want to let this go and i am not only drowning in my own self but in my ill prudence for not biting my own tongue and pride and telling or asking some one to help, not help but to listen to what i have to say or to listen to what i dream, love, think, believe.........oh wait i hang out with idiots and do not trust anyone not even myself...what is a girl to do..nada...no es bueno...auyeda me por favor..aueyda me por favor, may the Lord bless and keep me and forgive my stubbornness and pride and my weakness to ask for a good soul to listen, believe and aide me to find the truth, veritas, i keep running in circles and am too dizy to see what is written on my back...oh mi Dios. auyeda me

note to self

do not i repeat do not drink five red bulls in four hours while driving non stop through the cheeze state, makes one feel not good, shaking and like just got off of horse for a rough four hour ride....thank you and never again!

thanksgiving

If this one, meaning me, am not lost with in my own mind than i really don't think i live in reality and hell, i don't want to but i woke up at 1030 on thanksgiving morning and realized i have failed mi familia yet again. i was supposed to be at my parentals house at 6 am and had a little to much fun the previous evening! i quickly arranged for my friends car and drove to my aunt and uncles house in wisconsin. Usually it would have taken 5 and a half hours or more but i made it in four, no traffic OF Course!!! my unlce, a lovely man and soul held dinner for us. it was a beautiful thanksgiving

sister showing with her little baby

dance party

cigs with my cousin

a lot of food

little brother opening up, the one below me

and love in the air

the next day my family and my sister and brother in law ate chinese and went to see a show, charles dickends a christmas carol. It was the best damn show have seen with that play!

then my brother tony drove my friends car home with me and also made it in great time, middle children sure know how to drive, well and speedily;)

God bless us one and all!!!