Lost in my OWN mind

aye mate

2012-01-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

So new friends or should i say friend... I have some and I repeat some good ole friends who are wonderful great lovely spectacular...nuns...must write them letters...men...great men...family and young brother who are not young any more but have potential that once opens and will not only bring joy but laughs and luxury..great men will they be once they learn that they are that great....

Cass...ahhh Cass...she is like my sister not Chiara...whom I must call because I lost my self for three weeks...Cass is the definition of the ugly duckling: beautiful smart but thought and I say thought she was ugly on the outside...she would let folks get to her even in her 30ies... now engaged to a man.. a younger man whom she does not LOVE...for those who have experienced true love and pure love...this is not it...I do not feel sorry for her...I am disappointed because she has experienced pain and seen what no love can do. It is like she lost her love not only for herself but for all...closeness... maybe that is why we were such good friends for a long time and still are...side bar...dislike the man she will marry...hopefully not...made of honor...and no honor in that marriage..Cassandra find you...fucking suck it up and live love and be humble...do what you need and want...but as my wise father says want what you need and need what you want. Good Man!

My apologies to my sister... I do not like asking for help and will not say oh woooo is me...but I refuse also to lean on my family and be honest...well my folks said not to tell them everthing...which hell I will not..but shit I have love right in front of me...reaching out to me...and yet I do not engage or love back but distance myself still...after all the shit I have done and been through...ufta...really... I guess I used to, still do it...just want to be pushed so hard I either have no choice or no option...but then I am on the defense...

Thank goodness my head is not so far up my ass...bad form...but shit...no pun...tee hee... I know some discipline... thank goodness and God for that...

Little Bro is here...gotta run for pool ...late...risky but shit..i am a trooper...yippee...until next time...hopefully tomorrow night.

Have a stellar day...hell yeah!

Dilema

2011-11-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

Not my beautiful old cat...who was like a dog...therefore I loved it!

So one has a friend who is marrying someone who she cares for but not fully loves...getting married in the Catholic Church...but not only does this man's entire family does not believe in confession they will receive Christ, but the relationship is doomed...

Who knows maybe a mircacle will happen...but i KNOW she will not be happy and he will treat her like a damn bitch and use the word verbally.... how the hell am i suppossed to sit aside this couple on the alter and approve of this...

it makes me sick...but do i lose my friend for a long time or forever... Trying to pull my best friends wedding but the guy i am fighting for is Christ...and the marriage not to exist...ahhhh poop!

There is Love

2011-11-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

I can see it...just not yet believe it. My recent history was honest...brought out the honesty in others that was not disappointing but in a way discouraging. The other..i think was glad i was upfront but more him finding his true love and what he offered was not what i was ready for...meaning he had a family and do not think he was yet an honest man with himself. Then again the other was not ready...just learning his life to live...and another confused... me no se!

Everyone one says never look for love or men but i am but keep a wary eye. I will be direct but true. Try to not overbear but learn to know what i can do. I will keep asking and questioning and trying to discover but i do not know who to share it with...friends HA...they are nuns and to God i always do and his family... but i try to avoid the talks try to avoid what i will find....realize...failures and accomplishments.

Remembering and forgetting...sometimes i have no choice.

With the Grace of God and if i try to help myself..i will and will will it!

Prayers...for at least a glimpse of happiness! One is a fact i am shy in front of God and happy with my family no matter who or what they do! Love is Love and Is as is God himself!

Kiss on a forehead would be lovely and not soley from my saviour or my angels...my love and hopefully awaiting in the fless...

aye there's the rub!!!

Love, Life, Loss...please for the love of everything holy...just live

2011-09-14T17:16:00.000-07:00

Many changes in my life, family, thoughts...my way of life...

just saw two different pictures of two great Men... John Marie St. Francis and Paul Levine...

To think of what I could have accomplished and who I could have helped or inspired if I had applied my energy and efforts differently...

Life is short...we lose people...we live...we could be so lucky to be loved and to love...we still live...

I am living and love life... I will be the next to "devour life!"

Life carries on and on and on and on!!

2011-08-22T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yuppers...that is from the City of Angels CD!

May procrastination, frustrations, and anything that may stand in my way including myself disapate...so that I may live and love and let myself be loved!

Watching Jane Austen ...kills me everytime...not being vulnerable, being so bloody stubborn is killing me slowing... ...whether it is nobler in my mind to suffer or to rise up against the sea of troubles in my heart and mind and to cry a little for the benefit of my future love and life.

I will and this will occurr...tired of small movements forward...time for drastic leaps and bounds of faith and courage in myself and with the help of the Man upstairs...

yee who has little faith...can't hide anymore...i suppose!!!

i will never grow up but i will learn to live

2011-08-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

David Thoreau " Live life to the fullest."

Always keep that candle burning... be prepared...live life and in reality... Sometimes you forget to live and just jump in line with the rest...never been able to do that. When I tried I was the least happiest.

Someone thanked me today for acquiring their dream job...I told him that not living out your God given talents and using them for good is a sin and not only makes you unhappy but makes you lazy and poor spirited.... He tried harder for his dream job and got it a bloody week later.

Geeze la weeze...if we have faith of a mustard seed we could move mountains! If we try for something that makes us happy and chase our passion what we love...amazing things can happen... I then never heard this man laugh so loud and laugh GOOD in my life.

Sometimes i need to read or watch Charoltte Bronte or Jane Austin...to get that innocense and drive back...that love exists that if you try just a teeny bit you will be happy and live life to the fullest to how you should be...

shall i...i do every day and get back up fast for every fall...i am taking strides now...yippeee!!!

Prayer Requests

2011-04-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Funny thing...and beautiful thing is when you can feel and tell when prayers are said for you... My mother, grandma and my dearest sister...they I can tell...but when my father and hopefully my brothers and whomever i am supposed to wed do...Man oh Man do I feel it...can't help but smile and feel inspired to live life trully to the fullest and work on my faith.

Please Prayer for my vocation, my future husband, my carreer and seriously to keep that bloody television off...so addictive...lol silly me.

Mille Graci!

Parents...hmmm...lovvvvvveee them

2011-01-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

Prayers and Love to my folks!!!

to my father the most stubborn wonderful man ever

to my mom... the silent prugetory offer...er upper er lady love beautiful soul

to both..... my love ...gratitude!!!

everything...well almost... are you...

words, song, praise cannot bring it justice to you that you are!!!

Friggin' Amazing!

my folks my loves, my friends

me corezon

ciao :)

Early in the morning!

2010-12-29T18:08:00.000-08:00

Sooooo...started work at 6 forty ish...worked a solid 5 and a half no breaks...then long lunch...then a couple more hours..then shower...now been at a Bar/restaurante with my lap top and have been working for 3 solid hours...

listening too...dot dot dot...the kinks, crazy old school stuff, laurn hill, and a random mix...i am in a packed place ...nice place.. and found my self laughing aloud and smilin' and bobbin to the music...silly silly...me..ha ahhhhhh

these reports are about an hour a piece...shit shit shit!

Love Efff..ole friend of parents friends...love the food...never choose my drink...and by the by drinkin slow slow slow...must must must...

and i listen...nice to be out by myself...tucked in a corner...reminds me of my 2nd world youth day...stories will i tell ya...aka me.

Chiara always said to write a book on my life...question is...can i remain anonymous...i hurt ergo i will tell it like i was someone else...shit gave it away...oh wait i am the only one who reads this....of course the dude upstairs...ha and bleh

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

2010-12-29T10:46:00.000-08:00

Bunch a baby seal...maybe with my eyes closed...depends on what it looks like!!! Or would I?

Discipline to me
For me to indulge in Prudence
Thought provoked ideas put into play
oh Yeah!

Why can't i get up in the morning? Laziness? Sleep trouble? Both?

I need to satisfy my soul and I will rise before the dawn and hell maybe take a stroll :)

Man oh Man i am a nerd :)

and then some

2010-12-28T15:20:00.000-08:00

My own truthes:

i lie about what i want...i am never honest with myself ergo when someone asks...i give them what they want to hear..

at work: they all know i am goofy yet and work anyone under the table...my boss the VP said it is like a roller coaster always great working with me but sometimes can't see the next turn....

Mery go-round para me

i want and am a professional and can spin and work with the best...but need to smile and am just goofy...
lol not like bridge jones but like...a wee bit...lol

Yes!!!

2010-12-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

I mean no...prayers for my Sister's good ole friend!

The human body is amazing and this i will test...well at least mine...two months of hell and work.

As for the mind... it is "crazy" how it can work and attach it's self...the saying goes .. you are your own worst enemy... you are your own worst critic...but with that can come power of the mind, thoughts and even use that confidence of mind (hee hee) and knowledge over those who have not figured this out or at least try to use it for those who pretend to have this figured out!

This we shall see...on both accounts..

Monday yes worked and my 6 hours is like some one else's 2 full days of work... not bragging but spitting the truth!

I want more...in my mind, body, heart.... just going to get myself further along and ready for it all baby!

funny

2010-12-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

how one can write on one's own blog...lovin it...not the bloody mcdonalds saying..ha

What could be! Imagine it could be! Is it! Make it happen!

2010-12-01T17:58:00.000-08:00

if you want to get to the castle you must swim the moot!

Most the time i would say that little saying would be true but in come cases why not scale the wall, get thrown over the wall or hell just knock!

My castle is my mind and happiness...i am on that road but always running into thoe forks in the road or a hill or cliff.. which way to take, which way is faster, and is there a wrong way!

Can one be inspired by something so simple as a book, quotation, television show, a movie, a gesture...not sure...maybe a little push but i think all is one's hands and of course the umbrella of the Lord if you open your heart.

Is it Change or Return to truth or as damn near close to as one can get.

Do i cry over something i see on television to hide the truth of past and not knowing the future?

Do I hide with the past by hiding from thine self?

Simple things make me smile. Why then to I sit at times on the side lines?

Will i regret not writing in my journal and not spending time other than here and the black box land...rather than facing actions with failure but move on?

Will I find me amore, mi amigo mi corrazon...and stop mixing bad grammar with spanish and Italian...lol

More Vino, by myself, my house, my heart and wandering thoughts... i do laugh at what i think and say...My friend claire did once say..."Being easliy amused is a sign of intelligence!" Ha Ha and once last Ha!!!!!

ciao

God Bless my family and say prayers for mi madre, my hermana and mis hermanos!!!!!

ciao ciao

Well.....

2010-11-30T18:35:00.000-08:00

I think I may have conquered one thing...television sure the hell is not one of them...but watching wisely..sort of!

Just learning to hang out with myself!

Hopefully I will continue with this...ha I write that all the time too.

Fortitude:strength of mind to help one endure pain...always prayed for this...i have this...and i did smile now and laugh...moving to next...

Prudence: i have street smarts..not bragging but in general :) Ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason... just becareful because one may reason to rationalize their actions and tie them to their thoughts..dangerous road..Good Lord..he knows what i mean :)

Frugality! I am working on It!

Temperance...Pray for me and I pray every day for temperance!

Discipline Again

2010-04-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Goodness self motivation can be a challenge unless you just do.

Self motivation while one has two bad legs and must mostly sit still...hard but just do but much slower and still one must do.

Then the kicker... Damn television while working on one's ass for so many weeks and supposed to be moving slowly... you don't want to move...one forgets to eat, and all motivation goes out the window. To have a good friend, whether romantically, whether platonic seems to be missing!

Some one's who has a conscience and is aware of what they say and do, when they make a mistake...and yes whether tipsy or not.

Surrounded by older adults acting like damn fools and blind from old power older ideals.

What outlet do i have? Used to be writing and exercises but it is hard to get back into this when I have but the man upstairs who is not getting that much attention from me and just want a companion a true friend....I must reconnect with those who do care ...bullshit aside!

Auyedame! Just going to try to type, write and work the core...lol inside joke!

Writing and Spiritual Life

2009-06-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

Tangents

Non-sensical

gibberish

run-ons

Disclaimer to myself: The more you write the better! Vent baby vent, Soon I will be poetic, flow like a rapper not really, and yada yada...as for now...I don't care...

thanks...awesome...great...stellar...rad.

Kiss my

ciao

for these things i am a dumb ass

2009-06-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

Honestly is good, truth is getting hard for many, but me ha oh me i say I now am too honest (my mom told me this) and the truth is written on my back...yes i run in cirlces to see it! One at least I am looking, two it is so close I can sometimes see a reflection (wink) and three I really don't care what you think!

tangents.... why i am a dumb ass

1. I do hang out with people I do not like: and you are as good as the company you keep.

2. I tried to get fired from my job by not showing up...didn't work but really...dumb ass

3. Being tired does not make it ok to "accidently" miss mass...I am messing with GOD...what the what the what the...

4. The last few years i put work over all: family, my Saviour, life in general, school and of course I had to "rest" on the weekends!

*** I suppose we all have our issues, problems, vices, little devils that dance on our shoulder, but I still hide behind a person I made up...me. To everyone I know now and am constant contact with I am a tough chica, who works too much, can kick your ass (but retired from this) great friend to shit on, can dance and please invite to the party so she can entertain us, but if we are bored we will talk about her like we know her....i am flicking them off and mysef....

prudence
temperance
fortitude

I already want to be a vigilanty

I am intelligent, an athlete, practicing Catholic (saint in traing...that is for you nana), good to my parents, my siblings, good friend, and I am worth it to be happy....

No one is in my way, but my dumb ass!

therefore why hangout with more of them...reasons ladies and gentleman...simple

lonely
bored
action
maybe I will meet that one...hmmmmm ahhh probably not but
the what ifs ...i wasn't there that guy would be dead
old friends
celebrations...

believe-a-me I have slowed down, don't do stupid shit as much, never drive, never sleep with a random piece of meat....but i am my own road block...daily rosaries help, and I do not want something big and bad to happen...i want to get out of my mind...i am not doing bad, but i want the everything else to be the illusion while God is center...Lord I can do it, already know i got your help...but but but...

ciao

God is Great Beer is Good and People are Crazy

2009-06-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

Good People are becoming scarce.

Good friends are rare and far between!

Good Friends that are of the same sex are even rarer for Women!

My good women friends are in other states.

Not only have I lost touch with them, I am losing myself with the idiots I surround myself with: lushes, sluts, rude, and not good people.

Once I have that "moment" with a friend, male or female, the moment where one thinks, "this person rocks and i could maybe learn to trust them!" Shit just roles down hill from there....

My pattern: a lot of people "know" me or of me
think we are buddies
i hang out
rude
sluts
lushes
selfish
i then drop them!

The funny thing is my good male friends were and are ex's, or want to be future ex's, but decent and good.

Forgot one: THEY LOVE GOSSIP, REALLY REALLY, SELFISH PEOPLE!

Now I strive to for the fun-lovin...making my time for laughs, but not real laughs, those that will fill a lonely void of true friends. Every woman needs a friend...maybe i should move...

God is Great

Beer is Good, and

People are Crazy....on the crazy note...i am a little exhausted of Playing the part of the tough girl, i will always be loud because I played defense in soccer all my life, but seriously to you sluts, selfish, rude, lushes and gossips...sit and spin, get a life and quit pretending to be some one's friend....

ciao

It is

2009-06-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

This note, to me, shall be short...

one and only one reads me blog and that is me

so it is going to be me piece of mind to clamour, vent and make smiles

it is

Sleep deprived and that teleeeee

2007-04-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well Well I am not sleep deprived, it is that damn television. I will turn on that black box and watch television and then three hours later, can't move. I think this may be a problem. I sometimes work late, but I need some unwind time. Working out keeps me awake, yoga helps a wee bit and natural relaxing stuff from the vitamin shop. My work starts late and man, oh man do I take my time. It may be necessary to get a personal assistant. Just to wake me up...

On the other side of the story I love Rollerblades and they love me...great fun fun! Sweet!

Vacation...please please please please

2007-03-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

Just there a few days ago....when I was sleeping soundly a few days ago...damn!

Hopefully soon, April 2nd i will be in Montana with John...I must do a few things at work and sway the decision...badtiming i guess...which seems to happen a lot.

Five great things about Montana

1. Family and Friends
2. Simply Beautiful Land
3. Simplicity and Peace of Mind
4. Horsies... great therapy
5. Mountains...shit it is MONTANA

Honestly when I lived there, I had more peace of mind than I ever have had, not too many temptations and it...it was just beautiful and friggin' relaxing...bloody hell yes!!!!!

Christmas Surprises

2007-01-14T12:56:00.000-08:00

My father surprised the entire family with My sister, brother-in-law, and niece from Florida, then my brother-in-law's mother, and the youngest from San Diego came in town as well. Our family has not all been together for at least three or four years! It was nice, no fights ;)lots of laughs and of course FOOD!

the surprise...

my father is a bit of a jokster, actually that is an understatement, but the best was when he picked Chiara, Shane and Bothilde from the airport, and when at home, yelled at my mom, asking for helping with something, mom came downstairs and chiara, shane and baby went upstairs to my mother's room, put Bothilde in the middle of mom's bed and hid behind the bed...My mom got "frustrated" with dad obviously he really did not need help, and went back upstairs opened her door and saw her first grandchild in the middle of her bed...Screamed, cried, hugged and yelled at dad, but in a good way...They got me, Tony, and willy....Dad's time is coming...We will get that guy...But anyway: Great Christmas, happy, a little snow:(

ciao

sdkldkljaljkalk

2006-11-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

as a supervisor here at my lovely job i am training in my own manager....hmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i took it upon my self to relax my nerves with Jamison....and a co-worker's company and hell was offered another job...wicked awesome....then i went back to work with a friggin huge smile on my face! suckaaaas

a shit...

2006-11-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Happy be-lated birthday to my dearest sister in Florida! I remembered the day prior to her birthday and when i spoke to my parents...sorry Chiara...I love you and i God's speed with many more b-days and hot babies... ;)

so there i was

2006-11-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

and then i saw the lights of a chevy truck swerving towards me during my morning jog...I started to slow down and move further on the side, but the truck seemed to be following me.."oh shit!" was all that came out of my mouth...the truck hit my left leg, I flew to the side, hit the wet ground and I heard the truck screetch away while a sharp pain ran up my leg...damn it hurt...then i woke up and pissed for about five minutes...don't worry i was in the bathroom by then...and now i jog after the sun as been up for at least an hour!!!

Extremes...sink or swim, do or die!!

2006-10-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

shoooot...gotta run....bloody h

Montana

2006-10-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

Finally I get to go back to my sweet, cold, relaxing, breath of fresh air haven...Chinook, MT! The youngest of my big john, my uncle in Montana. Aimee jo is my age and a sweet heart...she is marrying a "city-boy" from Helena... our family is lovely, a bloody blast, and so loving...plus i get two step and get swung aroung by guys bigger than....thank you lord!!!

God bless my cuz Aimee and her betrothed...Many happy returns...Be fertile and multiply baby!!!!!!!!!!

truth

2006-10-16T21:43:00.000-07:00

simple uh?!!!

work work work

2006-10-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

i realized all i talk about is work but this week i spent about 90 hours at work and the company's owners are awesome, take so much shit and are perfectly wonderful...of course there is my boss barb... crzy people, great hearts and simply wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

work today and go to a wedding reception later....get wasted...just kidding.... i have not had a drop in about 23 days...holy shit mannnnnnnnnnnn!!!

doggie update

2006-10-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

still sick, very expsensive...damn i would just shoot 'em if that happens,, but hopefully it will get better!

my mom said it is a Catholic dog, it was blessed...she said it... i did not :)

oh where oh where could my mummy's doggie be?!

2006-09-30T22:00:00.000-07:00

my mother has a dog, a little crazy but a good liddle rat terrier puppie...today it is in the hospital and may be dying... I believe it is due to eating box elder bugs or something, but say some prayers.. my mom is under stress with school, working her arsh off and now her little bebe might die and she just got the damn thing...it looks like a cow but is a bloody good dog...

worst comes to worst,,, hell i will shoot it, less expensive or buy her a new one..

zonkers

2006-09-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

yes indeed stranded at work, i suppose it is one of my "favorite" past times now a days...I am here over 60 hours a week and during times when one finds out when one does not have many true friends...the lonliness hits, like a friggin brick was swung atcha head! Sometimes lonliness is good, but when stuck on the 3rd floor in the ghetto on a Saturday all all you really "know" or at least used to hang with seem not to give a flying fu*% you get a little worried and a wee bit f-in' sad!

se la vi

whatever floats there boat which i am going to f-in sink....

pardon my french!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never mind.... to all that care wait... say or said or spit out word vomit such as, they are Catholics but are not generous at heart... sit and spin and/or go f*%k yourselves, cuz i am sure you all will be more into yourself it would not even matter!

sorry mom and dad if you read this..which you wont and i am yet again not only talking to myself but typing something i should not...ah shit!

Silly

2006-09-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

So I witnessed a water fight the other day... I saw a young woman chasing after her friend and did not realize how deep a puddle was and ended up completely soaked...then the other lady involved with this tom foulery literally scooped up a handful of water and threw it... We could not stop laughing...She just smiled and shrugged...Good times

As a friend once said, "The easily amused is a sign of intelligence."

today is just another day

2006-09-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

wow oh wow I thank my lucky stars for my father... he is too kind to me! God Bless his generous yet strict soul!!!!

excited

2006-09-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

work is going well, so well that i am extremely excited to be at work for over 60 hours a week

I get to meet a good friend next Monday. He is taking me to lunch at a nice spot on the Mississippi and yeah....he was a business contact when I worked at the capital, then we formed a friendship via email! Ok great I will put that in the good story bag and toss it!

I finally wear clothes that match...well sort of ;)

Peace

2006-09-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

Again I am alone in a big scary building...only at night it is scary, but now by my own accord... I am now staying late whenever I can! I love the peace and quiet, the freedom to prance around and even though we have a lot of security cameras I picked my nose! haha

another thing

I love the peace look and innocent look of a picture I have from my sister of her baby, which I call my baby due to the resemblance but baby bothilde watches me and damn is that baby a Hottie ;)

yeeeeeeeeeeks!!

2006-09-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

so yet another late night, my bloody butthead of a boss left early with out telling...well he asked if i was ok...i did think he was going to leave....finished my work like a good employer and then got a hold of a blessed friend who is smart gorgeous and a lively soul and yet the bes

Late night

2006-09-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

Still at work! For three reasons...

ONe I need to make some more mulla!

TWo I can't don't have a reliable ride to and from work

THree My boss left me to do the work that was not finished...good times...all by my lonesome with Country blazin' in the backround, entire office empty as well as the whole building....oh geeze I could run "naked throught the quads"

or not, but i did just let a small smirk fly

Work ect ect ect

2006-09-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

i am at work

i am wearing high heels, candy apple red

i got in trouble again

i still like the color orange

i am weight training

i will be an old maid

cuz i am too stubborn

too Catholic

somewhat eduacated

not a "garden tool"

and still bloody tall

aye there's the rub

dear me

2006-09-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

first i read about the lovely Croc-Hunter dies when stabbed in the HEART by a sting ray... wow!

then some bloody young kids from wisconsin...figures cuz they are from the Packer's state... are grave robbers who thought a twenty year old year was hot who died in a crash and decided to dig her up and bring her home.... wow can't wait till judgement day!

the females in my life

2006-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

my mother, my boss, and my friend who i just became "decent" pals with want to bloody well marry me off! What in heaven's name are they thinking?! My mother says she even has a dowry(spelling?)!

I am a shrew! I will be that 85 year old woman with probably 90 knee replacements playing with the kids next door willing to bungy jump, still reading this book my sister gave me for christmas a year and 1/2 ago... i do like it...or I could marry a guy who doesn't speak English...lol what an adventure!

po po

2006-09-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

some peoples kids! this must include me! My parents are seriously going to be saints with us! My brother Antonio has a girl friend who since she is young and studying art, must explore Budhism and is such a lovely twitt but changes his major so often, and now i do not believe he likes his current one!

willy the baby aka will, it's more adult like, recently was accepted to San Diego and this new Catholic Media College thingy bobber! He told me he is nervous, but hopefully he will not hang out with the "lovely" people he does in Minnesota! He will need prayers, being sweet and generous only gets ya so far.

ahhh chiara and shane; moved to Naples, FL with their lovely baby girl Bothilde! Shane is attending Ave Maria and they are who they are....plus my sis may read this from time to time....don't worry PUCK.. I would never say anything to "silly!"

then me.............I won't ellaborate ;)

of course my mother's new son, my brother, Rudy! He is just a baby and loves to run into things, eat things he should not... and looks like a cow a minature one! He is so cute and great to sleep with~! I love Rat terriers...

Babysitting

2006-09-05T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well jeeze... I am posting a few blogs for Lor-Hill (my name for her)

Recently I babysat my boss and a few co-workers on my boss's birthday! We rode in style with a stretch limo, got off work early, well at least managment, and then went to a lovely Italian Restaurante and to a few happin' spots in the metro area....then the not so lovely stuff....I am the youngest at my work and everyone else that night was either twice my age or at least 31 years of age...and i litterally had to clean up after my boss! Not so fun

Sagas of Babysitting...i then watched my boss's daughter the following day into the next. took her to a gorgeous Catholic church, st. agnes, she is luthern and only five, but behaved very well then to a super duper ice cream place i grew up with, followed by swimming in the bug galour pool at my apt which they finally cleaned when we were done...rented movies and woke up at frickin 6am with a five yr old tapping my forehead! goodtimes

Many Hapy Returns

2006-06-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

To dear Wesley R. on his marriage to Lori this past weekend! Sorry I could not make it, but i am sure you will be happy!

God Bless and be fertile and multiply baby!

ITS A BABY GIRL

2006-06-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

On June 9th 2006 around 10am in the morning, my dearest sister and her husband had a baby girl. She weighs 8 lbs and some ounces and is about 21 inches long, a little more actually. She is healthy and sweet!

Her name is Botild Marae Dowell! My sister said she looks like me... boy are they in for some trouble;)

God bless that baby and her family... especially after 41 hours of labor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chiara: I think i spelt her name correctly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Long for me, as I long for you."

2006-05-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

Is it as simple as that? What if one does long for Him and somewhere inside his/her mind or heart, it is not truly meant. What if one says "I love you" to Him, even screams it and wishes and prays for that it is true, yet something is holding this person back, from honestly and truly meaning what he/she said?!

shit, i guess more prayers from that person and more prayers for that person!

2006-05-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

"Logic itself is rooted in the structure of the sentence... the decline of the English language is related to the decline of our ability to think."

-Fr. Pacuua (spelling?) Progessor at the University of Dallas via MPLS.

wow

2006-05-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

we just hired a new ceo for the company i work for and i was calling "him" a "her" and i was just corrected aftera month of calling him the boss lady...GREAT!

almost there..

2006-05-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

never pee into the wind.....

school is almost done...one more day and one more final.....santa maria

Good Company

2006-05-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

men in their late 50's early 60's are good company, they tell me about there children, children's children and we play pool together, talk about work, school, life and good blues bands....and they are those sick old men who hang out bar after bar, but once in a great while....i don't know if this is weird,,,, probably not. but damn some good conversations!

nap time

2006-05-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

i never knew naps could be eight hours long...goodness me...well then the nap turned into a 16hour sleep event....so refreshed...hooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaaaa

ATTEMPT AT THE IMPOSSIBLE

2006-05-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

As my sister so "delicately" put i have this imprint on my back that means the truth, so i am FINALLY taking it upon my self to do something i have not done in a while... which i will not disclose because it has a few parts to it and if anyone besides myself and the man upstairs know about it, it might make it a little more...um not quite sure, but i only want to know so that i will be able to give whoever thinks that i cannot a wee bit of a smirk!

post scriptus
my "C" will know because he is the only one i am honest with!

Bridget

2006-04-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

Shorty:P

this is what i used to call her at TAC, we went rollar blading down the drive, almost killing our selves, well at least wounding our selves and then a soccer game, bridget and me against matt g. and sean s. We won of course....ha! She is awesome and a saint in training, with a heart of gold, she is short but that is ok...ha..not only is she a great friend, sister, daughter, scholar, and so much more...I had fun always with shorty and i just realized this sounds like she passed...sorry bridget...lol... i gotta get back to work....and bridget if you read this i need your new number....again..i called your old number a few days ago and they gave me some new ones but i lost 'em!

lovely day

2006-04-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my quaint cubicle and am doing nothing, at all zip... we are doing nothing, and i get paid for this....hahahha! I check my email, do some homework, research if i brought it...very fun! I am awake and almost used to these 40 hours plus a week schedule stuff...good para mi!

oh me oh my

2006-04-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

well my friend and i went out last night and played some pool after school got out around 930pm. we only had one beer with a straw....it was a big pitch...beer..ahem, but kicked some but, did some line dances, and we remembered we had a lot of toliet paper and still had some time before it was too late... we got on apt balcony and put a sign with a big cement bottom that says Paster Jim right in the middle of there porch area....we could not stop laughing...we preceded to my buddies how, three young men to one house all sleeping peacefully and what idiots, they left there door open...hahahaha (evil laugh) we went in the house tp ed the living room kitchen hallway, inside the fridge and put the coffee maker in the fridge and were laughing ran out and the lights went on as we sped away....one of the guys was there but so tired he just laid on the couch mumbling at us...don't know what her was saying....it was simply glorious, immature, kinda stupid but me oh my i went to bed with a big smile on my face and that is worth it! A little tired this morning but thinking about my friends' faces was bliss and one of the greatest parts is the former place of living my friend rose and i hit, cops live there, or soon to be...hahahhaha suckas

Easter

2006-04-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

oh baby....that is right my sister is getting to the point where, if her tummy gets any bigger we might have twins...she is the cutest pregnant woman...so rosie and domesticated...ahhh...they are going to have a "hot bebe".....now i gotta quit smoking damnit!

Easter was beautiful spent the whole weekend with the family, relatives, sister and brothers and that includes shane-boy too...a lot of basketball, soccer, and chocolate, and a lot of church....friday was mellow saturday was sleep, and sunday was a shite-load of fun! alleluia...(spelling?)

the inner demon

2006-04-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

I do not like my inner demon
i hate him so
i pray and pray for him to go away
but sometimes i do not honestly mean it,
so...
This scares me though
Tears come when good surrounds me
and worthy am i, not

i run and play away from good,

the true good that is meant as food

for my mind and soul.

This is strong and makes me kringe
what i used like and what i need
to what is right and what should be my creed
Is gone or
at least seems lost to me.
I do not like my inner demon
I justly hate him so
why can't he be erased?
straight, i cannot think with him near my soul
In your Name oh Lord
Kill him that makes me ill.
my mind is poisoned ever much,
that i fear to think
i fear to be alone,
the dark
and not only do not i feel but
but fear to feel!
To hell with you, my inner demon
Just let me go.

-anonymous

I retract...

2006-04-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

part of that last blog... it is supposed to be common sense, God is the judge....right...no time for "an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth." Right...bloody hell

advice!

2006-04-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

Don't ever kick some one in the head while someone else is holding that person back!!!

oh WAIT

THAT IS COMMON SENSE!!!!! volpe femina!

BEER

2006-04-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

good beer or at least somewhat tasty and expensive!!! Delirium...different flavors...yum

on the subject of...

my co-worker/fellow classmmate/ softball friend's dad makes his own wine...strong, delicious, and wild and new flavors...once i try it i will tell how "good" it is!

work work work/ the shrew

2006-04-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

the new job up date...going well... a lot of work...i like montana....oh wait .

i got a call last week from my dear cousin in montan ERIC! lovely man, with his wife and kid, but he read my blog from last wednesday and truly thought that i was getting married, so he called me and left a message....i could not stope laughing....good times! I do so pray that a real man comes about...so i may...make him suffer in the game of soccer and pool...hahahahaha...taming of the shrew...i am going to need a lot of work...damn!

why why why

2006-04-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

i got to ride in a bloody H2 limo on friday night! I felt very special i must say and my friend Cassandra did my hair and make-up and told me what to wear, so that i looked...GOOD...and lady like...until i put a chew in...oops..but it was a blast, never had to pay for a cover or drink btw who knew who and the boys...good times for my buddy it was his birthday...he turned thirty...until... oh yes one of the boys got out of hand...and our dukes went up...that kid is a volpe femina....hahah

God bless him and many thanks to anyone who...blaha hal bleh.. him for me...

it was a fun night though... some crzy fun pictures and dancing....whooooooooooo ya

Congratulations

2006-03-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

Congrats to those who are getting married!

A highschool buddy
Wes and Lori! may God bless them!!

Another highschool buddy
Greg and that girl from UD, sorry i forgot, but she is really really nice and sweet

A good friend
Amanda aka RED and her fiance Travis

A high school bud
Adam and (i think) Katherine....one of the twins

Another high school friend
Claire and her dude..... i don't even know his name

To those that i do not know, forgot or those that have anniversaries....i mentioned donny and emma...already....but especially to those who are to become one may you all be subordinate to each other, many happy returns, many hot bebes and a damn good life i do hope you all have....God bless.....

the reason why i wrote this..... everyone is getting married it seems that is.... oh yes i forgot got too...I am getting married

He is from MPLS, yes he is shorter than me, and finally popped the question, we have been seeing each other off and on through out many years but i never thought he would "speak" to me in such loving words.....

then

i

woke

up

it

was

a

dream

he

my

perfect man

was my care

bear, mr. nighttime bear to you all,

and he turned into my prince....

Man i hate when that happens.....well at least i still got him and he is whipped ...litterally...

accident prone

2006-03-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

it might not be me, maybe just my head, but it likes hit things or run into things without my permission....i hate the ER and i do not like falling...ouch!!!!

new job

2006-03-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

I am at my new job and we are in training for the first four weeks and still some practice until maybe 10 weeks total...crzy but the computers that we are training on and the program for "staging" is not working correctly so now we have some free time, if ya wanna call it that, but this job will be a real job, but there is a lot to know about everything they offer....oh yippee!

plus i start at 830am which is nice because i get up around six thirty seven and have time to do whatever i want and i am not rushed....this is good news

school though is a different story, i am going to have to withdraw from one class and try to take it this summer, that will be three classes this summer now in order to graduate this semester...then on to more...this job even gives me up to five g's plus a year for school how cool is that! so now i can just take a class when i want just to add on to my degree and work for my double BA...and my languages

SWEET

ok soo....

2006-03-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

some peoples kids!

thank to "my" jesse

2006-03-22T13:16:00.000-08:00

i have two computer genius friends...one in california and one right here in minnesota....i know how to use a computer fairly well and with practice could probably do a lot of "cool" things with a pc, but when something goes wrong and with the busy life i lead i just don't know what to do...so i call jesse and donny. well gotta go at work, new job, training and will finish my saga later.....ahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhh

MOTORCYLE

2006-03-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

R6 Yamaha baby! year 2000 under 8 thousand miles and baby oh baby this will be fun...and less gas milleage.....yes yes yes i can't wait until the snow is gone

SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW

2006-03-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

In the middle of march here in minnesota we get a big snow starting last night around 7pm. so far i believe we got 8inches and my apartament complex is still not plowed, my car is stuck, i did not go on my paper route due to that and i was getting over being sick...

the weather forcast says, which is not always right for MN, up to 7 more inches tonight....it is beautiful, class is cancelled and movies and papers for me all day...yippee

SURPRISE

2006-03-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

i actually show up six minutes before i was supposed to be at my parentals for out sunday dinner....there is a knock at the door and i think it is my brother tony(who is always late not fashionably late, just late) and his new girlfriend....i open the door and it is my sister with her BIG BELLY and Shane my bro in law! My reaction grab chiara and sniff her cheek, i don't know why i did and i was gentle cuz damn is she big.

they join us for dinner i try to brainwash their baby by blowing in to chiara's tummy and saying...soccer soccer soccer.. of course she will not let me see her belly button but shane describes it to me as well as chiara!

the two decided at subway in wisconsin that they wanted to surprise all of us because they didnot want us to be too surprised at the size of chiara's belly at easter time....wow God Bless those two and their little baby,,,,i hope it is a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate computers!

2006-03-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

Well that is a lie, but when i learn how to do something and then it doesnot work again and i spend hours at this damn thing to figure it out again that just pisses me flippin off....damnit!

oh well i really don't care...

Kirby Pucket died last night! He went in on monday or sunday cuz he had a stroke! He passed and was only 44! May he rest in peace!

proud and wanna prove to you all....

2006-03-03T16:37:00.000-08:00

that i can get to heaven............

i still be crazy and this weekend i am going to play hockey, look for a motor cycle, enjoy spring break next week, watch a shite load of movies and sleep my arsh off......oh baby it is like a good steak from montana while looking at a chevy truck just thinkin about it all.

oh yes new job, hopefully i will start next week... i quit the day time one.....at least i will not be asked to do any "lines" if i look tired

i guess i am ...lalalalalall ya know

my sweet brothers!

2006-03-03T16:31:00.000-08:00

my sweet little tall and slender little brothers are completely awesome! the baby, willie, took over a video camera that i kinda took over a long time ago back in august! he is now becoming a computer tech and making videio including one entitled "HOOKA TIMES." It is not only enjoyable but well made!

the other antonio, is falling for a young woman, justine, who looks russian and is awesome. i mean he pets her on the head and constantly asks, allie do you like her, i do..so what do you think of her...awesome! and surprisingly enough i like this one...it is the only girl friend of both my brothers i think is acceptable and she is catholic...yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still prayers for them that they may become stronger in their faith

i am only human

2006-03-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

a las i was born with original sin and that is why i am so happy i have confession....

it says in the bible and eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth and when it comes to having a stressfull day, and three friends including myself just happen to get into trouble with our choice of words and lack of patience for idiots that we seem to have an acquintance with, not by choice but by society....we find ourselves taking a little bit just a little of payback to those that deserve it is not only a little rewarding but a little fun and i do feel a little bad and yet a little smirk i have on my face....oops

my bloody car

2006-02-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

yes my dear vehicle the boat a lincoln town car is dying slowly. its name is mr yoda. and the window gets stuck down and living in minnesota it gets a little cold so.....i am going to sell my car to a russian dude that my school buddy dude knows that collects lincolns cool not so much well got run! bye

oh yes saw the movie pride and predjudice and i love that movie actually all the re makes of that book and sense and sensibility. now i want love and romance and a nice catholic man that has an edge ....oh yea baby

alive...yes loryn...but not all there

2006-02-22T08:28:00.000-08:00

I am here i am breathing i have no mortal sins on my soul i am tired i quit my job today and thank goodness i had two besides school i hate english and therefore i am i not going to use any complete sentences because i can and this is a friggin blog not a paper all my high school friends are getting married or are just plain silly my car is dying but i can get a new one with my secret savings account for an R6 or a nigga and for those who don't know that is a bike with a motor hah i must take a nap after .....

"Logic itself is rooted in the structure of the sentence... the decline of the english language is related to the decline of our ability to think."

-Fr. Pacua

damn gina my ability to think needs a little tune up oops

boys in white "boy" lake

2006-01-19T15:23:00.000-08:00

So according to the state of minnesota i must abstain from alcohol for two years if i get caught or my PO finds out i get 30 days in a lovely place with bad food and bars...oh yea....this leads me to a story of some boys in my city white bear lake aka white "boy" lake!

i walk in our lovely white bear bar and about twenty guys some friends some just wanted to drink longer and find my self with two stalking boys intoximacated as wow! One boy and i really mean boy cuz of their actions words and stupidity, the other a "up towner" bleached blonde hair tight yello shirt and torn tight blue jeans, stylish boy also a wee bit drunk. the former boy mentioned thought the other dude was gay and were exchanging words. my "friend" Laena thought that she could break em up, i thought she would use her girlish sweet italian looks and calmly split the two up with a servers help.....noooooooooooo. she got gangster on the former boy mentioned and after all her white girl gangster talk put down her purse and wanted to take it outside....i towered over most all in the bar grabbed her arm and said what the hell are you thinking, they are dumb both drunk and why bother they are fighting over nothing! oh no she says she gots it...well shit then the drunk stupid first boy and his three friends want to engage outside with all the guys that followed us to the bar.....shit....suddenly a song rose through the yelling....she was a fast machine she kept her motor clean she was the best damn women that i ever seen....bla bla... i started dancing like a dork the fighting stopped for ten minutes not long but man laughter rose up i was laughing....fight went out side i left, with the fisty broad i brought went home frustrated angry disappointed and scared that since i was sober i could break up a fight but pictured my self knocking out with a bottle in my hand to two idiots that kept it going just because of their sheer stupidity and lack of class and respect.... sad isn't it to be alone in the world!

peace

my last semester!

2006-01-19T15:18:00.000-08:00

oh baby oh baby!

actually i have two classes i must take in the summer but then i will have my AS in criminal justice!

then maybe a year of mathematics and a few law classes and i got my double BA in mathematics and pre-law..............yessssssssssssssssss

then i don't know, i could be a probation officer, teacher, police officer, go to law school, and so much more just have not decided.

but one thing still holds true i love minnesota weather and prayers are always welcome, more now than ever. reality is crappie

hmmm....

2006-01-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

A walk in the woods

david thoreau

me gusta

alkdjfaskljfakl;sjfklasjdflkasjdfl;kasjdfl;kaj

2006-01-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

that is all i can think or say

my buddy installed cable and for the first time in my life i have cable and man oh man i do zone out oh mollie rockie

a prayer

2005-12-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

simple and sweet corey quick give me a B

tee hee

By midnight sugar

What does not kill ya will make ya stronger....right

2005-12-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

R i G HTTTTT! People say that it builds character and it is easier to handle the next lemon life gives you, but there is a middle ground those damn "people" for got to tell you....if you handle the lemons and move on great you are stronger in heart and character but if you don't deal with those bloody lemons and understand them and learn from them you will not get stronger but set yourself up for the same damn lemon and this time it will be thrown at you from the back and knock you smack in the head!

there is always a grey area to everything, even love, friendship, school, work, and your own thoughts

watch out chicken butts

two years

2005-12-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

due to the lovely state of minnesota justice system i must remain sober for the next two years! I ask prayers that i may abstain from alcohol for the next two years starting in a couple days. I am not happy, shaky and i suppose i must make the best out of it...per se not blow any one's car!

many thanks to actually many teachers at century for advice and support, no sugar coating either, thanks boys

to danny boy, i think he save my ass hard core this past saturday..he knows i can't remember

i love my parentals: i gave them a lot of grey hairs.

sorry to aimee a sweetheart

to bek a cowgirl

donde es la verdad

that long blog entry

2005-12-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

Honestly i came home after a "long" night and wrote that, i am going to leave the misspelled words and repeated words in there. I do apologize though!

School is drawing near, two down three to go, but within those three a crap load of work to be done by thursday, and hot diggity dog to celebrate a nice italian dinner and sledding wildly on the back of my buddies snow mobile

back in time

2005-12-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

yes to those that know me and to those that do not read my blog, which is no one, but to my self, i am one truly lost in my own mind, lost in this society that i hate yes i sincerely mean hate, but am no i do not mean chicken butt, i have learned and experiencec a lot and honey i mean a lot and i hate to write it but i am immature, innocent, naive, ignorant, lazy, mean, honest, a lier, strong willed, silly, not prudent, lazy, one eyed, AND SO ON, BUT i am human, have a hear and soul and want to live to my fullest, dream love, lost and believe and blah blah blah blah yet i am one soul and want happiness and as a women yet young want to be held, loved, trused, and damit, held again and for one, for one, and again for one to say, believe, and breathe that i am worth something and to quote the fifth of aristotle of substance (weird but something) i am some one with a soul and want more in life than ignorant people, false hopes, lies, fights, running away from the truth, and running away from the people that truly care.... hmmm for those that know that means... QED... I want God to live in My heart, fill me with love and compassion, honesty, prudence, fortitude, love and prudence....what can assist me in this but prayer a good life and good people..........whoo is me....i do not suround myself with prayer, good people, love honest and true love, and people that care for me. to me i say and ponder besides dumb ass, idiot, but what the hell am i thinking....alcohol, no pain, no love, yes yet no that is all i know, and do not want to feel QED i drink if not one, a few and more. i do not trust or believe in me or the man upstairs, yet i do and i confuse myself, but my blog title, lost in my own mind......i love him and cry for him and pity all man knind but knowing this and more why do not want to feel anything and live my life well and do what i am capable of, which is not humble to say but a lot hell yes a lot. no se! no es bueno! mi cabenza es stupida y sono (this word is italian) es nada en mi corozon, por que.....por que pero... sono is and i do not want to let this go and i am not only drowning in my own self but in my ill prudence for not biting my own tongue and pride and telling or asking some one to help, not help but to listen to what i have to say or to listen to what i dream, love, think, believe.........oh wait i hang out with idiots and do not trust anyone not even myself...what is a girl to do..nada...no es bueno...auyeda me por favor..aueyda me por favor, may the Lord bless and keep me and forgive my stubbornness and pride and my weakness to ask for a good soul to listen, believe and aide me to find the truth, veritas, i keep running in circles and am too dizy to see what is written on my back...oh mi Dios. auyeda me

note to self

2005-12-01T11:44:00.000-08:00

do not i repeat do not drink five red bulls in four hours while driving non stop through the cheeze state, makes one feel not good, shaking and like just got off of horse for a rough four hour ride....thank you and never again!

thanksgiving

2005-12-01T11:36:00.000-08:00

If this one, meaning me, am not lost with in my own mind than i really don't think i live in reality and hell, i don't want to but i woke up at 1030 on thanksgiving morning and realized i have failed mi familia yet again. i was supposed to be at my parentals house at 6 am and had a little to much fun the previous evening! i quickly arranged for my friends car and drove to my aunt and uncles house in wisconsin. Usually it would have taken 5 and a half hours or more but i made it in four, no traffic OF Course!!! my unlce, a lovely man and soul held dinner for us. it was a beautiful thanksgiving

sister showing with her little baby

dance party

cigs with my cousin

a lot of food

little brother opening up, the one below me

and love in the air

the next day my family and my sister and brother in law ate chinese and went to see a show, charles dickends a christmas carol. It was the best damn show have seen with that play!

then my brother tony drove my friends car home with me and also made it in great time, middle children sure know how to drive, well and speedily;)

God bless us one and all!!!

relatives

2005-11-29T17:40:00.000-08:00

WHAT IN THE LORD'S NAME?!

it is always nice to find out that your extended family does not know you and from hear say that i am doing something that i am not and write a letter to me and address it with out confirming it.....wow... i love those librals relatives they make me smile

i ask for prayers and more prayers cuz this was a day that might make one insane

God bless the minnesota justice system cuz it sucks a big one

sloth

2005-11-17T15:58:00.000-08:00

it sounds like a worm or a sticky gross thingy that does not have a word, but it is a sin to many

it is kinda neccessary at times but only for health but then it is not sloth it is taking care of one's self, but what if shit gotta get done?! if one is sick, over worked sick and tired of being sick and tired and has responsibilities like a job, school work and or court (ha ha) is it just and righteous to take a break or keep on truckin'?

ahhhhhhhh i am confused, frustrated, need to relieve some physical anxieties,

in summary

bloody hell my heart and soul and my head is going to explode!

canniballism

2005-11-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

one of my last papers for my english class is Catholics and Cannibals! If anyone actually reads this let me know if there are any good articles or books that could aide me with my final paper. por favor!

ARe Catholics Cannibals?

this might be my title, but man at some dinky libraries they have jack on catholics and anything that really matters;)

according to the "dude"

2005-11-16T14:53:00.000-08:00

I have problems with relationships and getting close to anyone really, that sucks! Well not really! I guess it depends on how one looks at it, either i don't truly know myself and don't want anyone else to know myself, fear of rejection, or i don't give a rat's butt if any one knows the reall me, cuz i am afraid of feeling or of feeling something that hurts so bad ya don't want to trust anyone again. It is a sticky situation, i don't want to feel the hurt and bad feelings of one breaking my heart or the loss of a loved one, but if i chose to avoid those feelings i miss out on the good ones.

according to the dude i want to feel, but hurt from the past that it is hard, but since i came so far i actually do want to feel, everything....ah crap i hate when that happens!

school...near the end

2005-11-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

after next semester i will have finally completed something: an associates in science degree with criminal justice focus and after another semester i will have a double associates in criminal justice and law enforcement. then on to finish my double in mathematics and pre-law....whooo ya...i might take a break after the next two semesters...maybe

the only catch or trick is, since this college is my third, i must get the counselors to make it work my way, i do not want to take BS classes, like fitness for life if i played college ball, oh yea i get to meet once a week for two credit hours and walk...you got to be kidding me....shit!

God's speed to me baby!

a late disclaimer

2005-11-07T13:48:00.000-08:00

ok the ying yang twins, i finally listened to the entire CD, it is good except a select few, yes the CD is full of "french" words and a few songs i would not recommend to anyone but a lot of the songs are interesting....oops

ying yang

2005-11-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

i like the ying yang twins they have some good beats and some songs are actually enjoyable, this includes the words!

on the go with the ferrets

2005-11-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

has most know it is the deer opening season and all my friends including the chicas get to go shooting, but me nooooooooooo! I get to babysits my friend's all white cat with two different colored eyes that is crazy and her four ferrets that enjoy pooping all over her apartament and eating my new black boots....man do they owe me big time!

text messaging

2005-11-01T13:55:00.000-08:00

what really sucks is when you text one person about another person while having a conversasion with both people and you accidently text the person you are talking about the text that was suppossed to go to the other person about that person....Do you not hate when that happens? I do and just did it, i got a call...

me: Hi jeff
jeff: hey ummm.. did you just text me?
me: no why
jeff: well ah..
me: oh shit, sorry um well i didnot really think that i sent it ah...sorry
jeff: no babe it is ok, i am glad to here it
pause
me: ok then, sorry for the late call
jeff: no problem, you have school today?
me: yes
jeff: call me after school ok babe
me: ok dokey and sorry
jeff: it was funny call me
me: bye jeff
jeff: bye babe, you are funny give a call bye

at least it was not that bad but i hate when that happens

my bloody cell phone

2005-10-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

so this month a lone i went through four bloody cell phones

first i lost my old one got a new one hated it found my old one, returned the new one, lost the old again got a new one again much nicer, some dude stepped on my purse and then another butt head split beer on it, went and got a rent a phone while a new phone was sent to me, got the new one, it didn't work right went to the t-mobile phone store they fixed it and then last night my sim card went bad or something went in to the t mobile store after soccer... the guy who i always deal with looked up with disbelief, laughed while shaking his head got a new sim card for me and now i just can't wait to see what happens next....bloody hell i am accident prone with cell phones or i just don't know...ahhhhhhhh

soccer and pool...ahhhhh

2005-10-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

Just one of those days yesterday where you want to crawl into bed, look at the ceiling, maybe read a wicked cool book, or dream! I don't really know if i would call that wasting time, but exercising one's right to do nothing...but of course i didnot have time to do that so i cancelled my seven o clock pool league and went and played two hours of soccer after drinking four red bulls, man oh man i was on fire and could run really really fast. Our team one and i got ready for 9 o clock leagues. I was completely out of it, i was three sheets to the wind with out one alcoholic beverage in me.....damn gina. We lost 2 to three, not that bad we played the best team in our leagues and it was beautiful, well my partner played lovely and i probably would have shot better with my eyes closed....went home and sat on the couch staring at a blank tv with a cig hanging from my mouth,,,,burnt hair smells bad and will snap one back into reality let my tell ya!

went to bed and took today off of work so i can do school work! woke up late of course and now i must type three papers, sorry four papers and a test by three pm....shit se la vi

over and out little buddy

red bull

2005-10-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

one of my mothers main goals in life is to ban abortion and red bull!

it is a stimulant, true, but i get a kick out of it when i sometimes drink it in the morning! Of course i do not tell my mother because she will kick my, you know what....well not really, but those who do know my mom, she does know tae-bo;)

to red bull may you fly but not too high